Sunday, August 31, 2014

Don't Be Afraid To Stand or Question

Something I have never understood, even prior to my salvation but especially since is why people are so hesitant to state or stand up for their beliefs. People seem terribly afraid to ask others what they think, to share what they themselves think, or to consider what they think. One of the most common responses people seem to have when asked why they do something is "I don't know" or some variant like it, such as "that's just always what I have done" "my parents told me that" or "that's just what you do".

As Christians this is not acceptable. Our lives are to be devoted to the Lord, our existence is given to us by God and owed to Him. We are twice bought, created by our sovereign creator and then bought again by the blood of Christ. Inside of us dwells the Holy Spirit and so there is no excuse for us to believe in owning our own flesh, mind or heart. When we take this seriously, when we consider what this means how can we out of humility and devoting our selves, in submitting to the Lord NOT have a reason for all that we do.

I would dare to go as far as to say that if we can not give a biblical reason for what we do in any aspect of our lives, specific or general, that it is sin.

Romans 14:23 "But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin."

1 Cor 10:31 "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

This leads me to think that we should do all that we do fully and with love. There is precedence and biblical reasons, many verses, to be careful with what we say. The tongue is a dangerous beast and we should value the wisdom of others. However this does not justify our apathy, this in no way calls us to be pushovers or to be passive in our spreading the gospel, holding brothers accountable, or seeking growth ourselves.

There is simply no reason to be so scared of letting others see us. If we are wrong and they help us see that then praise the Lord. If we are correct by the grace of God then let others question us and further test our faith, all the long hearing the gospel themselves. Though it need not be as pointed as one side trying to change another. Rejoice in our differences, rejoice in the wisdom that God has given each of us. We each has various gifts, various aspects of the word and the truth that has been revealed to us that our brothers may not know, and there are things they know that we do not.

I must say that I am not talking about special revelation or new prophecy's, but simply that there is not a 1 2 3 guide to spiritual growth, we do not have wisdom revealed to us in the same manner and same degrees as every other brother, but we are given differences in these aspects so that we can encourage one another.

Anyways! Here are some questions that I wrote to ask a man who asked me to support his ministry. I'd love to have your opinions on questions you would add or what you think about the list!

"Prayer
How often do you pray?
How often do you pray with your wife?
What do you pray about the most?
Does God listen to a lost persons prayers?
How often do you confess/repent your sins to God? Do you need to?

Christ/Scripture
Was Jesus a man? was He God?
How often do you read your bible?
How often do you read your bible with your wife?
Is the scripture infalliable?
Is the scripture sufficent? what does this mean?
Does psychology help? Does economics help? Does methodology help?
Does sociology help?

Salvation
Do you believe in the second baptism/anoiting of the Holy Spirit?
Can we lose our salvation?
Do we have to do anything to complete/maintain our salvation?
If we are saved is there anything that will happen for sure to us?
Do we have free will?

Special
What was in the cup that Christ mentions in Luke 22:42
"saying, “Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me.
Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”"
What is revival?
Is the country Israel the spiritual Israel?

Miscalenous
What denomination would you consider yourself?
What is the prime focus/belief of your denomination?
What is sin? (Anything that does not glorify God? Anything apart from faith?
A list?)
What part does the Holy Spirit play in revealing sin?
How much sin is acceptable in the life of a saved person?
Are there any greter sins? Do you truly believe this? Do you live this?
Do you strive to live this?
Do you break any laws? Drugs (pot)? Driving? Piriting? Stealing?
Is homosexuality ok? (Active relationship, just state of attraction?)
How do you determine what entertainment is ok to watch/read/play?
Can we have complete victory over sin in this lifetime?

Violence/War
Is war ever an acceptable response? When?
Is violence ever an acceptable response? When?
Is lethal force ever an acceptable response? When?

Priorities
Do you put your relationship with God above your Wife?
Do you put your relationship with your Wife above your Children?
Do you put your relationship with your Family above your Church?
Where does your priority to your Job stand?

Family
Is your wife Christian?
Are you planning on raising your child Christian? Are there any other
options?
Does she believe in headmanship? Do you?
What aspects of faith do you and your wife defer on? Agree on?
How would you approach your wife if she was in sin? Your children?
Is divorce an option? (Ever?)
Is remarriage an option? (Ever?
Why did you marry your wife? (Do you feel that is the proper way
to marry/find a wife?)

Interesting
What is your favorite book in the bible?
Least favorite?
Who is your favorite Prophet? Apostle?
What is your favorite story in the bible?
What are some hard stories/concepts for you in the bible?
What is your greatest struggle(s)?
How do you feel about diffrent translations of the bible?"

Monday, August 25, 2014

Stream of Consciousness Questions

I am looking forward to using this blog for as long as it helps me in my growth in Christ, though I must admit it is one of the lowest things on my priority as I have several other things I write/read in.

Since I have given up playing videogames, and am trying to not replace it with simply another form of entertainment, my thoughts race a lot more. I spend more time in the word, more time reading papers by pastors and listening to sermons as well as more time talking with friends and simply thinking. This is a huge blessing from our Lord and I am so amazed by how He is moving my heart, what He is showing me in my thoughts and what He is doing with my time.

...it is also rather exhausting. Ok, it is very exhausting. To be honest racing thoughts was one of the things that brought me into video games in the first place. I remember as a child seeing a therapist and telling her about not being able to stop thinking, little seemed to help, but eventually I found video games (and to a lesser extent reading) did.

That being said much of what I think about are questions about life, my walk with Christ, theology and just what I am to do, how I am to do it and so on.

One of the things I've been thinking about and listening to various pastors about lately is the relationship between Gods call, our resistance to his will, grace and mercy when dealing with the lost and brothers, as well as how to admonish and/or encourage brothers in Christ. I find it is very hard to think about only a single aspect of God, as one thing leads into another which leads into another and then explodes into functionally "Everything". This can be so frustrating at times! But so amazingly uplifting and encouraging. How great is our God that thinking about ANYTHING automatically brings in every other aspect of Him? It is a balm for my thoughts, protecting them from becoming wicked things, and yet it is tiring, very tiring to constantly be thinking, constantly be considering, constantly be questioning myself. At my heart however I know it is a blessing, I know this because of his word having told me so.

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

Joshua 1:8 "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

Psalm 1:1-2 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night."

And so we must go about with our lives, moving forward, doing what is good in the Lords eye. Our souls yearn for it, the Holy Spirit in us pushes towards it, we read the Word and pray to God and feel in our new nature that there is a hunger for knowledge of our creator, a desire to worship Him, a NEED to live for Him, to please Him.

So I encourage everyone to embrace what the Lord has called you to do, embrace what the scriptures say, embrace what Christ has commanded us. Listen to your heart, to your convictions, pray and know the will of God and beg of Him to remove the impurities from your life. Repent and Believe. Repent! How great that we can do that, that we can fall at our fathers feet and that not only are our sins forgiven but that He reaches out and lifts us up, he regenerates us, healing the wounds we still have, that we keep inflicting our ourselves. Believe! Trust in Him, know Him, have faith in Him. Do not limit our God! Do not demean the value of Christ. Worship the Holy Spirit as you do the Father and the Son. Believe the truth, believe the gospel, believe the scriptures, believe that God is faithful.

Do you believe? Do you truly believe? Do you trust our Lord with EVERYTHING? If we follow the word if we act in faith...

Romans 8:32 "He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?"

2 Timothy 3:16 "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness,"

We are a new creation, the Holy Spirit dwells in us and the blood of Christ covers us, undergoing sanctification having the imputed righteousness of Christ, what can we be asure of? Everything. Our salvation, our faith, our trust in Him. You who are saved, you who are brothers and sisters in Christ, children of God, my true family, know that He will give you the faith!


Friday, August 15, 2014

Sacrifice & Self Harm

 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

Proverbs 21:3 "3 To do righteousness and justice is more acceptable to the LORD than sacrifice."

1 Samuel 15:22 "22 And Samuel said, “Has the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to listen than the fat of rams.""

Hebrews 3:15 "15 As it is said, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.”"

John 14:23 "23 Jesus answered him, “If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.""


Occasionally a bit of our past flairs up and nips at our spirituality, our connection with the Lord, our faith. For each person that attack happens differently, both in severity and frequency, but it is always directed by Satan at our weaknesses, and boy does he know how to hit them. He knows exactly when and where to hit, but we have a strong and lasting possession in Christ, we are His children, foreknew before creation and held in our salvation by His love and the power of the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes these things are never something we grow fully out of but are always there, or at least they exist for prolonged times, as the thorn Paul mentioned is often believed to have been. Desires that wont go away, guilt's that sill haunt us, mistakes that plague our minds with "what ifs" and "woe is me".

For me I used to hurt myself in various ways, often not much, and often much more as a sense of personal humiliation. I remember cutting my hands because they were the only part of my body I liked even slightly, I remember shaving the hair on my legs because it would make me be "less of a man" which was what I deserved, I remember hating my wait and so adding scars to my stretch marks. There was always a deep sense of hating myself in what I did, not so much a sense of despair or wishing for death or attention, simply a deep hatred and disappointment.

That feeling, the bottom of what ever caused that is still present in me, but by the Holy Spirit is constantly being reduced and healed. I am a new creation in Christ, remade, but my heart mind and body are far from complete.

What does this have to do with sin? What does this have to do with sacrifice? Quite a lot really.

We are creatures who are imperfect, already and not yet, our salvation is secured but our sanctification is a progress in a similar sense as a movie we are in the middle of watching is already finished and yet not finished. That being said, we still sin, and as Christians, growing more like Christ, focusing on Christ, reading the scriptures and praying we have our sins revealed more and more to us, as well as the greater and greater understanding of the Holiness of God. How despairing a thing our sins can be if we do not have the blood of Christ to cover them, if we dwell for but a moment on our sins against the Holiness of God, without the intervening presence of Christ. It is a world of despair, of hopelessness, of self hate. I think it would be a greater curse to fully know God without Christ covering us, then it would be to not know God and have no Christ for salvation. The understanding of God brings with it a hatred of sin, a detesting horror to it...and at times I think we all, and I know I personally, can lose focus and take a look down into that pit and feel it...even if I am not down in it.

With this view, this down point, this false and partial understanding of who God is we can fall into self harm, self hate, self depreciation and punishment. We try to make up for the things that we are, we punish and purge, we would and despise. We hurt our own body, our heart our flesh our minds, hoping that perhaps this will change me, perhaps this will pay for the evil I am...perhaps this will be a good enough sacrifice. Surely if God sees how much I hate my sin He will find me good enough. See Lord? I humiliate myself because I deserve it. I hurt myself because I am bad. I bring myself into despair willingly because it is what I deserve. I offer this sacrifice to you Lord, in hopes that I might be cleansed...but there is a problem with that. God is the judge, Gods wrath is owed on us, not our own wrath. In our sacrifices in our punishments of ourselves we not only fail to cover our sins but we further sin by taking away Gods right to enact His place on the Throne of Judgement. In our turning to our selves to fix our selves we turn away from God, and so we grasp onto our sin, fighting it, trying to wrestle it away from us, all the while sinking deeper into the water, willfully holding onto the very thing we are fighting, the very thing we wish to get a hold of. Seeking to conquer our sin we sin further.

Ephesians 2:4 4 "But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,"

But God! Him. Our Lord, Savior, King, Advisor, Creator, Purpose. He has delivered us, He has called us, He has given us His word to bring us to Him and to walk upon. The Holy Spirit is within us, moving, loving, crying out in our pains, crying out when we wound Him. He has provided the sacrifice, He has provided the punishment that was His right His duty His perfection to do, and He did not do it on us for in so doing we would suffer eternally and yet be destroyed by His perfect wrath, but He did it upon His Son, who has taken all our sins, and who bore it FULLY as only God Himself could. He has purged us, He has cleansed us, He has removed us, we are brought humble (read humiliated) before him, we are disciplined (read put in our place) by him, and it is He who loves us! He has done all that we could possibly do to ourselves to punish ourselves, and He did it to Himself, to show us just how much He loves us!

God, in His love, through His son, has humiliated himself for me so that I need not humiliate myself. He has bore the wounds and marks of disgrace and disgust that were supposed to be on MY flesh to mark MY sin and My wicked heart. My God my perfect sovereign Lord bled, hung in pain, and bore the wrath of God which I can not even comprehend because I couldn't do it for myself.

So please, please I ask you. Love yourself, not because you deserve it, not because you are a human and we all are equal, not because it's productive or healthy, but because as a Christian, as a saint, as someone who possesses the Holy Spirit...

Who you were died on that Cross 2000 years ago, and now who you are is a perfect child of our God. Love yourself because god loves His Son, and He covers, and permeates you. Created by God, Saved by God, Guided by God.







Monday, August 11, 2014

The Tongue

I like to talk, and though some people might not realize it I like others who talk a lot too. It is a type of conversational style that I feel comfortable with and that is engaging and has a sense of honesty to it. When you talk a lot or fast you are bound to slip up and put your foot in your mouth, and to be able to do that comfortably with another person who is doing the same is a blessing and something I enjoy a great deal.

...But the tongue is dangerous, it is powerful and from it our hearts spill out, both the good and the bad. The sins inside of us, our repressed feelings come out into our words, as well as our hidden joys and excitements. The bible is filled with references to the tongue, many positive and many negative, warning of the danger it has, the sharp ability it has to bring low others.


Proverbs 10:18 "The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool. "

Proverbs 10:32 "The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked, what is perverse."

Proverbs 12:18 "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. "

Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. "

Job 15: 6 "Your own mouth condemns you, and not I; your own lips testify against you. "

Isaiah 6:5 "And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts!”"

Words of love and mercy and kindness do not naturaly come out of a mouth that is connected to a hateful heart, though there is deception in the end when we lose grip of our tounges our inner nature spills out, showing much of who we are, where we are on our walk with Christ, and our fears and anxietys.

These are some of the biggest problems I go through, fighting this, struggling with the desire to shut my mouth so that I do not hurt others, but at the same time to open it and spread the Gospel. I fail so very very often, shutting up the Holy Spirit out of fear, letting lose with my own tounge blinded by my pride or excitement or anger into thinking I'm speaking the Word.

I try to focus on Christ, focus on resting in Him, on learning, on my progressive sanctification, his forgivness mercy and love. When I think of what He has done for me, the more I dwell on Him and constantly have Him on my mind not the commands or the laws or the standards but simply Him, I find my tounge speaks far more often the Word of God.

If there was only less of Me in Me...and more of Him. But there will be! He has promised me! He has said so! One of my favorite verses in the bible, my standing point, my promise from God and yours as well..it always holds me up it always reminds me no matter how dark things are they will get better!

Romans 8:29 "For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers."

So I move forward, guilty of and shamed by my sin of hurting others, of failing to glorify God, of spewing forth my own rhetoric and infrinces instead of the leadings of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God...but I know it wont be forever! He has said so! Oh my Lord my God my King He is doing a work in me! A work in me that will bring Him glory and that will give me more and more of Him!

Sunday, August 10, 2014

The Changing of A Pastor

Today our Pastor told us that he would be going to another church next week for what is basically a trial run at being their pastor, there will be a vote by their board and if they vote yes he will become their pastor.

My initial reaction to this is, confused. How am I supposed to respond to this? How should this effect me? How will it change the dynamic of the church, of the community, my personal experience in the building. I have met several pastors and many are not as friendly as my pastor...many do not preach the Word or they do so watered down or even with their own personal additions and addendum's.

How does this effect me. That was where my thoughts were. And that's not right, that's not biblical. How does this effect the church, how will this effect the church he is going to, how will this grow us. It should be a positive thing, I should look at it with excitement about how the hand of God will be moving among us...but as of right now I'm not sure I can honestly say that's what I feel.

I am excited for my pastor, and for the church he is going to. I know he is a man who preaches the word and they will be blessed with Christ through him, as he will be blessed with Christ through them. But I think to the stories I have heard other people tell me of pastors leaving churches and the problems that come after, people falling away, the community leaving, breaking up, fracturing.

Where does my hope reside? In Him, in Christ, in our King, our Lord. We must focus on that, I must focus on that. God is in control, God is directing us, God has plans far surpassing anything I could understand. Out of respect for authority, out of love for another person, and out of rejoicing in the Holy Spirit moving through a brother despite my feelings of unease and selfishness I will praise God for this! I will pray for pastor Matt to receive this blessing and for the gospel to spread!

I do not know what the Lord is bringing, I do not know where things are going in the short term, but I do know what the end will be, I do know where I am headed and what is to come for the world in the end of these times. It is in Christ that I rest, in Christ that I know these things. By the blood of Jesus I can have faith and trust in the Lord without understanding! I hope you can too!

Saturday, August 9, 2014

A Path That I Am Not Sure About

My name is Justin McCleskey and I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. I have been since September of 2012, when the Lord in His mercy out of His grace opened my eyes to the truth of not only the existence of Him our creator, but Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Since then my life has constantly been moving forward, being conformed into His image slowly, fighting the ways of the world and only by the grace of forgiveness and constant shepherding, moving away from the things that snared me prior to my rebirth.

My life is for the Lord, our God our Creator our King. Daily I fail, and I pray and fall at His feet for forgiveness, for love, for mercy, but I get up and move forward, His hands lifting me up, His love pushing me, pulling me, calling me. It is by Christ that I am who I am, it is through the Holy Spirit that I am able to love God.

Praise Him! That is what I hope this journal will do. It is my hope and my intent that the things that I share on this site will glorify Him, and that when my own words my own thoughts and my own interpretations get in the way of the Truth of the Word, the Glory of God, I trust in Him to move your hearts to know to cling to Him, to listen to His word not my ideas.


Romans 8:5–6

5 For those who live according to the flesh think about the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, about the things of the Spirit. 6 For the mind-set of the flesh is death, but the mind-set of the Spirit is life and peace.